Thursday, August 30, 2007
"Augusta, you silly thing, you are stuck in the dog door. Shhh Dirty, stop that barking."
"Why didn't you answer my knocks."
"I discovered that one of my bunnies has been murdered. I've had that bunny since Softy left."
"Will you p l e a s e get me out of this door. I think you need to pull me back out from the outside."
Dusty carefully opened the front door (so as to not cause a breeze that would disrupt her bunnies) and went toward the dog door. She grabbed Augusta by the boots and started to pull. It became immediately obvious that he was stuck. She put on her thinking cap and decided to brainstorm: leave him captive stuck in the door, tie a rope to him and to his car and back him out, cut him in half, cover him with lard and slip him out. The last idea seemed the best, as it usually does.
"Augusta, just hold on, I'm going to get some lard and slip you out."
"I'm not going anywhere, Dusty. That is the problem."
"Augusta, please have a sense of humor. It isn't every day that a cop is arrested by a dog door."
"Well, hurry up, will you?"
Dusty went back into the house and got the lard. "This will be very messy," she said to herself with a grin on her face. She went outside, but then decided that it was the part of him on the inside that needed the lard to slip back out. She went back inside and said,"now hold still while I take your shirt off. We don't want to rip the shirt when you come tumbling through the hole."
"Anything. Just do anything to get me out of here. What would the other cops say if they saw me like this?"