Thursday, August 9, 2007

Eliza Tries It Out

(Start on 7/18/07)

Softy stood a few feet from the door. He knew that would help to put the housewife at ease. When she opened the door, he gently smiled at her and introduced himself.

“I’m Softy and I’d like to show you a pillow. I’d like to give you the opportunity for a good night’s sleep.”

“Hi, I’m Eliza. But I’m in a hurry and I slept fine. Why should I but a new pillow.”

“Ma’am, I don’t mean to be critical, but you do have some rings under your eyes and you are a bit stressed. May I come in and show you this life saver of a pillow.”

“Alright, if you insist.”

“Insist. No, ma’am. I’m sure your neighbors will welcome the opportunity to be transported to heaven every night. But if you’d like to join them, please let me come in out of this unbearable heat.”

“I must have forgotten my manners. Please come in. May I offer you something to drink.”

“Sure, a little water will be fine. No ice please. It reminds me of my ‘x’”

“Was your wife ‘cold?’”

Softy laughs. “She never had that problem. She used to embed dustbunnies in ice cubes. I never knew what I might be drinking.”

“I bet you are glad to be away from her. Let me get you a glass of water and tell me a little about this woman. She sounds like a real kook.”

“Ma’am. Maybe some other time. Some men sell bibles, engraved and all. Do you know why?”

“To make money?”

“No money in bibles. The gold leaf for the engraving often blows away and so goes the profits. They distribute bibles to save lives.”

“So what is your point?”

“I do need a little money to live on. But my mission is to give everyone a good night’s sleep. As a youngster I had terrible insomnia until I found the secret.”

The mention of “insomnia” brought tears to Eliza’s eyes.

“I don’t sleep so well, to be honest. I can never get my head in the right position.”

“Ma’am, why don’t you lay down on your couch over there and give this pillow a minute. If you aren’t transported to heaven in 30 seconds I’ll paint your house.”

Softy took a lot of chances with his sales pitches. He felt that he had a good product behind him and that it would not fail him.

Eliza felt assured that she just has gotten a free paint job. She went over to the couch and put the pillow under her head.

“Now close your eyes and relax your body a little. Feel how the pillow cushions all eleven pounds of your head.”