Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Knockers

Well, it seems that we have a parallel universe here. Just as Dusty and Augusta were busted, so it appears that Eliza and Softy are in deep dudu, as the expression goes.

Two cops were at the door. It appeared that Eliza's customer's husband called the cops when he heard the story about the pillows. He was furious that his wife had shelled out $200 for pillows, took the old pillows, and hadn't even delivered any new pillows. It didn't sound legit.

"Let us see your business license, please," one of the officer's demanded.

"We plan on getting one tomorrow," Softy said.

"Then you can pay the fine tomorrow, after a restful night in the slammer. We know your kind and you are not welcome in this town."

"Now wait a second," Eliza said.

"What is it you'd like to say, Ma'am. Do you both want to spend the night in the slammer?"

"Officer, if we were giving out bibles door to door would you be so adamant that we have a license?" Eliza argued.

"Well, no, but pillows ain't bibles."

"Pillows may be better than bibles." Eliza blurted out, but then regretted what she had said.

"Excuse me, but we respect the lord's word in these parts," the other officer said.

"What I meant, sirs, is that if you have had a long day and you are really tired and you want to lay down your head . . . which would you use, a bible or a pillow?"

"An interesting argument, Ma'am. I'm glad you added that or we would have thrown away the key."

"Officers, just give us a second of your time. Would you both lay down on the bed a moment and put your head on our pillows. I think you'll experience a moment of relaxation? Do you know that your head weighs about 15 lbs? That is a lot of weight for the average pillow. Imagine the effect on your lovely town if everyone woke up with a smile on their face." Eliza couldn't believe that she was asking the officers to try out the pillows. Nor could Softy believe his partner couldn't keep her trap shut.

"Buster, what do you think? Can it hurt any if we lay down . . . just for a moment?"